‘I think I have an almost complete archive of my first month here in Amsterdam’, I said to my friend recently, while going through my photo gallery from my first year as a university student. Everything from the first couple of hours in the city with my father, to the intro week parties, all the people I eagerly introduced myself to, hell, even the trip to Utrecht to register for my residence permit. Watching the photos allows me to relive the barrage of emotions I felt, albeit from behind the rose-tinted glasses of nostalgia.
Rose-tinted, because besides the wonder at the smallest things and being slightly scared of the peculiarities (if you haven’t pissed off a very annoyed-looking biker in this city, have you even really lived here?), there are little trials you undergo living here as an international student. They might not be the biggest issues in the world, but knowing your way around a city and its culture is a huge part of feeling like you belong somewhere. Here’s my version of a little crash course from what I’ve learnt.
Fashionably late
First things first, if you want to make a good impression in the Netherlands you have to be on time. Dutch people are extremely punctual, which I found out the hard way after trying to shift away from operating on what I called my Indian Standard Time, which is essentially being a fashionable 10 to 15 minutes late to everything.
Arriving on time starts with transport: you need to figure out how you’re getting around the city. There are three categories to this. You have the bikers who cycle around come rain or shine (key to getting into a Dutch person’s good graces). Then there are the non-committal bikers (I’m guilty of this one) who bike occasionally. And the public transport princesses who are adamant about taking the metro, tram, bus and the occasional Sprinter train rather than risk the wrath of the Amsterdam city bike hordes.
I will say that biking in the city is the cheapest and most reliable way to get around, but beware: you will probably get your bike stolen, maybe even several times. Always lock it properly – that first bike-theft heartbreak will really hit you. It’s best to just buy a second-hand bike, on Marktplaats or at a second-hand bike shop, or get a bike subscription with Swapfiets.
Five euros for breathing
This city is expensive. Sometimes I feel like five euros get deducted from my bank account just for breathing, so you have to learn to find student-budget-friendly options for everything. A sandwich is the most cost-effective and satiating meal you can find. There are many local delis where you can get a good deal for six euros. My personal favourites are Caldi e Freddi on the Spuistraat and Comestibles Kinders in the Jordaan.
For shopping, hit the kringloop stores (thrift shops) and the Waterlooplein market. And always ask about a student or membership discount. Trust me: a lot more places have them than you think.
Notorious reputation
Now if you want to integrate a bit more and make Dutch friends, you have to meet them where they’re at, be direct and just talk to them when you’re given an opportunity. Learning the language and trying to understand the culture do help quite a lot.
In my opinion, the notorious reputation of Dutch locals being hard to befriend isn’t unfounded but definitely exaggerated. Yes, the people here have tight-knit social circles, but if you consistently make an effort, many will open up. Go to that random party, make small talk with the stranger in class and say hi to the people you’ve met only once. Doing those intimidating but meaningful new things is how you find out who you are.
Strange burden
A tougher battle is how to navigate your own culture and identity in a new country while staying true to yourself as you learn to adapt to this new life. This is unfortunately only understood through experience, some positive and quite a few negative. Yes, Amsterdam and VU are very international, but that doesn’t stop the sense of alienation when explaining the nuances of your culture brings the conversation to a halt, or when you have to talk about your country in a specific way so as not to feed into the negative stereotypes that you know people latch on to. Or when a drunk guy at a party makes a weird comment about race and your culture and you don’t feel like making things uncomfortable by calling him out, but now you don’t feel as safe.
Feeling too foreign or like you’re the impromptu cultural ambassador for your country is a strange burden to bear. For the first couple of months, I didn’t engage much with my Indian friends on campus, but these days they’re some of the people I reach out to first. Leaning on your community, even just for a stupid joke in familiar language, can offer a little slice of home and much-needed relief.
We all know that xenophobia and prejudice are still very pressing issues and the pretence that we have progressed past them is categorically false. But these challenges, big and small, shouldn’t prevent you from making this university and this city feel like your own. Everyone has their own mental survival guide. Slowly but surely, you will build your own.